


Someone Who's Been Where You're At

by CaptainAwesome242



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Character Study, Childhood Trauma, Chistopher Pike, Episode: s01e29 Operation - Annihilate, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Family Issues, Five Year Mission, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Iowa, Parallels, Post-Five Year Mission, Sam Kirk - Freeform, Winona Kirk - Freeform, abandonement issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 04:19:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10914207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAwesome242/pseuds/CaptainAwesome242
Summary: If you can hear me now, I'm reaching out, to let you know that you're not alone.





	Someone Who's Been Where You're At

**Author's Note:**

> For this fic to work I have taken elements from both the Original Series and the Reboot universe, hence I have tagged it in both. This is based off of the series one episode "Operation: Annihilate!" but takes place in the reboot universe, allowing for Jim's childhood and life before Starfleet. 
> 
> Title taken from the Nickelback song ‘Lullaby’

_Petty Theft_

_Vandalism  
_

_Reckless Driving  
_

_Trespassing  
_

If Jim didn't know any better he'd swear he was reading his own rap sheet from before Starfleet, even the name at the top was _Kirk_. 

Peter Kirk was currently sitting in a locked room staring determinedly at the metal table in front of him, unaware of Jim's eyes on him through the one-way window. By God, how much his nephew reminded him of himself. Though he was the spitting image of Sam, Jim and his older brother had looked very much alike and had been often mistaken for twins in their youth. Peter had the same golden hair, piercing blue eyes, same defiant look Jim had worn when he'd sat in exactly the same chair.

It had been five years since that fateful mission on the Deneva Colony which saw Sam and Aurelan Kirk killed, and twelve-year-old Peter was made an orphan. Jim had been deeply haunted by the sight of his brother cold and unmoving on the ground. Sam had been his rock growing up, the only constant member in his distant family. With his father gone and his mother constantly coming and going on Starfleet missions, Jim had turned to his brother for support and while for the most part he was considered the pesky little brother he knew Sam cared for him.

But then Sam left. He'd grown tired of their mother's prolonged absences and their uncle's abusive meddling and he'd run away. Jim had tried to get his brother to stay, but even at age twelve he could see why Sam would leave. Sam was always braver than Jim and less afraid of Uncle Frank, making him prone to arguing back and encouraging his anger. Jim was far more hesitant to provoke his uncle and often tried to please him by doing well in school and completing his chores to avoid his wrath. That's not to say that Frank never got mad at Jim, but when he did Sam was always there to defend him and deflect his anger onto himself. Until he wasn't.

It was minutes after his brother left that Jim took his father's car and drove it over the cliff. It had been impulsive and reckless, but what a rush! Frank had been furious, but Jim found for the first time an anger burning in himself. This was the man who'd driven his brother away, the reason he was alone with him. It was at this moment that Jim knew he wanted to be brave and strong like Sam. He took to acting out at home and later in public, causing a nuisance to the local law enforcement. 

His mother, who immersed herself in her work so she wouldn't have time to look at the children who reminded her so much of her missing husband, grew more and more distant and disappointed in him as his rap sheet grew. She didn't understand, and always got Frank's version of events first. 

And as Jim got older, his behaviour got worse and he cared less and less. His misdemeanours earned him stints in his local holding cells. He left home though he was never without a bed, every night sharing with a different girl. 

It wasn't glamorous, it wasn't good for him and it got him nowhere. And he'd be damned if he'd let his nephew do the same thing.

It was only after the parasites on Deneva had been defeated and the people cured that it finally hit Jim.

Sam was dead. 

Brave Sam, strong Sam. He hadn't seen his brother in almost twenty years, and now he never would again. He was hurting so badly he almost forgot about the nephew he never knew about, the nephew who was now parentless. It had been immediately decided by the authorities that a starship was no place for a child, regardless of whether the Captain was his uncle or not, and he was to return to Earth to be put into the care of his grandmother, Jim's mother.

At the time Jim had been too wrapped up in his grief and his own reflections that it had seemed a perfectly acceptable idea to him. What would he have done with a young boy anyway? He couldn't stay aboard the Enterprise, it was too dangerous. And Jim was barely into his five year mission, he couldn't pull out of this commitment. So Jim had dropped Peter off on Earth with his condolences and promises of maintained contact.

That was five years ago.

Five years, it seemed, could change a person.

The boy in the cell was a far cry from the scared, gangly pre-teen Jim had left on Earth. This young man was oozing defiance, anger, and he sat in the small room with the confidence of one who'd been in the same position before. 

Jim's heart ached at the sight, it was like looking through a wormhole back in time.

An officer approached the cell and unlocked it, standing back and allowing Jim to enter.

The look of surprise on Peter's face was so short lived that Jim wondered if he'd imagined it, but the youthful look hardened into one of contempt.

"What do you want?" Peter spat out, glowering at his uncle in much the same way as Jim had at his own uncle. The revelation sent shivers down his spine but his face remained impassive.

"I've come to talk to you Peter," he said gently.

"What, have you come to tell me how much of a disappointment I am? Or tell me to act more like a Kirk?" Though the statement was filled with venom Jim couldn't hold back a chuckle.

Peter was stunned.

"What?" He demanded defensively.

"Oh Peter, you couldn't be acting more like a Kirk if you tried!" Jim replied, sobering. 

"What are you talking about?" Asked Peter, curious despite himself.

"I used to be exactly like you,"

The statement sparked an anger in Peter and the glare returned, "You don't know anything about me! You've met me once and that was only because you were the one to find us, and then you just dumped me on Earth with some woman I'd never met who apparently is my grandmother and then you just fucked off again. Now you're here telling me you were exactly like me as if you know me! You don't know anything!"

Jim sighed, "I know far more than you'd like to believe,"

Peter narrowed his eyes, "Has she been sending you reports on me or something? As if that's any of your business what I do!"

"No, your grandmother hasn't sent me anything. I just got back from my mission and I came to see you, only for her to tell me that you were here," Jim gestured around the room.

"So, you know I'm here, what do you want?"

"I want to help you, Peter,"

Peter scoffed derisively, "Help me? Since when? You've been far too busy being a goody captain to bother before, what's so different now? You finished this mission so you want to 'help me' before the next one starts? I'm just a project in your downtime! Just another great headline for you," Peter raised his hands, "'Hero Captain Helps Forgotten Boy', except it won't tell you in the article that _you_ were the one who forgot about me,"

The words stung Jim more than he cared to admit, "I tried contacting you-"

"And I stopped answering years ago, why didn't you come then?"

"Because I was Captain of over four hundred crewmen in the outer reaches of space, I couldn't just walk away from-"

"So you walked away from me instead?"

"It's not that simple, my orders were for five years I couldn't just-" It suddenly struck Jim how much like his mother he was sounding in this moment, and his excuses sounded weak even to his own ears. 

"I think you just didn't want to see me, couldn't be bothered to-"

"You want the truth?" Jim interrupted.

Peter nodded once.

"You're right, I didn't want to see you, but it is _not_ because I couldn't be bothered. Your father and I were very close when we were young, and for him to be gone I . . . it was hard for me-"

"It was hard for me to you know," Peter snapped.

"Yes, I'm sorry. But you looked so much like him . . . so much like he did at that age I . . . I couldn't look at you without being reminded of him, and I know how much it hurts to grow up with someone who won't look at you because you remind them of the dead-"

"And yet you still sent me to live with your mother who wouldn't look at me because I look too much like my dad!"

"I knew I couldn't do it, but I'd hoped she'd changed from my childhood-"

"Well she hasn't, she's never there and even when she is she can't stand to look at me," 

"And that's why you've been doing these things," he gestured to the PADD with Peter's rap sheet on it, "To make her pay attention to you, or even just to look at you - not your father in you, but _you,_ "

Peter was still frowning, but some of the anger had drained from his face, his shoulders had lost their rigidity, "How do you know that?"

Jim offered a sympathetic smile, "Because I did exactly the same thing,"

Peter regarded Jim carefully, "Did it work?"

Jim shook his head, "No. If anything, it did the opposite. It drove us further apart, she didn't look at me at all, in fact she took on extra work so that she wouldn't have to see me so eventually I ran away. It got me nowhere fast,"

Peter frowned, crossing his arms, "But you're the Captain on the best starship, it got you somewhere, clearly!"

Jim shook his head once again, "No Peter, what got me into Starfleet was a good man who took a risky chance on a complete loser just because he knew who my dad was. It was a chance meeting in a bar and if he hadn't have been there then I would probably be where you're sitting now and nothing would have changed, it would have gotten me nothing but another prison sentence,"

Peter ducked his head, a lot of the fight draining out of him leaving behind a vulnerable teen. He laughed without humour, "I don't suppose he's making any stops here in the near future?"

Jim scratched the back of his head, "Ah, no, he died. He was killed six years ago,"

Peter winced, he could see how much the man had meant to his uncle, "Sorry,"

Jim smiled sadly, "He would have liked you,"

Peter snorted, but a small smile tugged the corners of his lips up, "Why, because I'm a complete loser like you were?"

Jim smirked, "No, because, like me, you have the potential to be a good man and to achieve great things, all you need is someone to give you the time of day,"

Peter's face darkened again, "Like that's gonna happen, she’s already told me that if I end up in here one more time she's not coming back for me, I don't have anywhere to go,"

There was a pause while Jim chose his words.

"Peter, how would you feel about coming to stay with me?"

Peter's eyes bugged out as he stared at Jim incredulously, "Are you serious?"

Jim nodded, "Completely,"

Peter scowled again, "But aren't you about to go on another mission? You're just going to leave me behind like she does," 

"I'm not taking the next mission," 

"What are you talking about?"

"I've applied to work at Starfleet HQ in an office position, so that if you decided to live with me I could be around for you. I'll be home every night; I'll very rarely be off planet if at all; I can try to give you a normal life,"

Peter was silent, but Jim could see the thoughts crossing his face, "You'd give up the best ship in the world for some kid you barely know?"

"Like I said, you just need someone to give you the time of day, I should have done it when I first found you. I was selfish and I refused to believe what I knew would happen, and I'm sorry. But I'm willing to change things now, I don't want you to go down the same dark road as I did when I can help you out. If, of course, you'd like to come live with me,"

Peter started chewing on his bottom lip, his eyes stormy with conflicting emotions. On the one hand he'd spent so long resenting Jim for leaving him with his grandmother, for abandoning him to a woman who couldn't stand to look at him but on the other hand he was trying to make amends and was offering Peter a home; a fresh start; a caring relationship. And yet there was a part of Peter which couldn't help but be sceptical 

"You would truly put your career aside for me?"

"Yes, you deserve so much better than what you've been given and I plan to provide that for you," Jim reassured him, not a hint of impatience in his voice at having to repeat himself.

Tears sprung to the younger Kirk's eyes and he furiously wiped them away with the backs of his hands.

"So what do you say?" Jim probed gently.

Peter paused before nodding, "Yes . . . please,"

Jim smiled warmly and nodded. After securing his nephew's release the two Kirk's left the detention centre together, Jim throwing his arm around the boy's shoulders and Peter leaning into his uncle’s side.

**Author's Note:**

> Canonically, Peter goes to live with Jim's parents (who are both still alive) on Earth with his younger twin siblings who are already living with them. I left the twins out of my story because I wanted to focus on Peter. I could see many parallels between how Reboot Jim and Peter might have reacted to the loss of their parents and I wanted to explore it a little further, along the way finding parallels between Jim and his mother, Pike, and Sam.


End file.
